Wed Jan 15 -
He messaged me on OKC. We're a 96% match, 0% enemy. Great first message, he even sent a video of Ben Folds. <3
I replied that day.
Thu Jan 16 -
OKC email exchange. He asks to chat on Skype. I send him my phone number instead.
Fri Jan 17 -
He says he'll text me that day or over the weekend. (We're both out of town that weekend).
Sat Jan 18 -
No contact
Sun Jan 19 -
No contact
Mon Jan 20 -
I message him on OKC, letting him know I'm back in town. He texts me that night. I reply asking how his weekend was.
No reply.
Tue Jan 21-
No contact
Wed Jan 22 -
He texts back. We text a bit, then switch to Skype and have a voice conversation that night.
In that conversation, he asked me on a date to a museum + picnic on the upcoming Sunday (swoon).
Thu Jan 23 -
Brief, chat initiated by me.
me: "hope your'e having a good day"
him: "looking forward to Sunday", yadda yadda
Sat Jan 25 -
He had offered to pick me up for date the next day, so I texted him to suggest a coffee shop nearby. This was at 4pm. He replied saying his parents were throwing his brother a birthday lunch the next day and he might need to reschedule. He says he'll know for sure in a couple hours.
At 10pm, he texts confirming he needs to cancel. Mildly apologetic, says he really does want to hang out soon. He says he'll call me tomorrow and we'll sort out a plan to reschedule.
Sun Jan 26 -
No call.
Mon Jan 27 -
He texts, apologizing for delay. There's some small talk and then I ask him to this Sketchfest event than I have tix to at the Cal Academy on Thursday. His reply- "I don't know what that is, but my answer is absolutely!" Adorable.
Tues Jan 28 -
He texts me, hope you're having a good day, looking forward to Thursday. We have a brief back-and-forth.
Weds Jan 29 -
I text him something lame about the rain. No reply.
Thu Jan 30 -
He texts back, offers to pick me up that night, long back and forth.
He's 30mins late picking me up, but he keeps me updates the whole time (and it was a Thursday night from south bay, so I forgive the traffic delay).
The date proceeds to be the best date in the history of my 15 years of dating. He's charming, funny, sweet, smart, wry, chivalrous. There was zero awkwardness, we instantly connected, it was really easy, comfortable conversation.
Reasons I think he was into it: He made excuses to touch me, insisted on carrying my sweater, there was a part where we sat down to watch a show and he put his arm around me, held my hand, whispered cheek-to-cheek. When the were kicking people out of the museum, he was looking for excuses to stay longer. Then he suggested extending the date (it was already 10p). We went to get food and hung out at a bar. He picked an eyelash off my face. At the bar he made the quite bold move of suggesting we move over to the couches where he laid down because his "back was hurting" and put his head in my lap. He did everything he could to drag out the evening, even insisting I sit in his car with him while he charged his phone, then insisting on driving me home even though I was less than a block away from my place.
Just a kiss on the cheek at the end of the night and an "I'll talk to you soon."
All told, the date was from 6pm to 1am. I texted him after thanking him and saying I had a good time.
Fri Jan 31 -
I'm on cloud 9, just completely smitten.
He replied to my text, thanking me for coming out and wishing me a good day at work. We exchange a few cheesy texts that day- he sends me a picture of a penguin, it's adorable.
Sat Feb 1 -
Desperately trying to fight it, I go crazy-lady and text him in the morning "...not to be forward, but my Sunday just opened up if you'd like to get together."
Later that night afternoon he replies "That's not too forward, lol. Just got your msg. I was contemplating going up to the city anyway, let me talk to my friend and get back to you?"
(Oh, he lives in San Jose, by the way.)
I suggest meeting in Palo Alto if it's easier for him because I'll be there anyway running a (fake) errand.
(Yes, this was Super Bowl Sunday, but he had already established that he didn't care about football and didn't have plans).
That evening, as I was headed out to dinner, he texts back apologizing cuz he just woke up from a nap and hadn't heard back from his friend.
Then I go out with the girls and successfully distract myself for a few hours.
Sun Feb 2 -
I text him "Happy Groundhog Day", which yes, really meant "soooo.... are we getting together today or what?"
He replies that his friend never got back to him and it was raining so he wasn't so inclined to go up to the city.
At this point, I had actually made legitimate plans to get a massage in Palo Alto to back up my crazy lady story. So I tell him I'll be down there and suggest lunch. He agrees. This is like 10:30am.
At 11:45, I'm in my massage, he texts-
"Kate, I have a question- would you forgive me if I postponed? My friend msgd me and has time to help me with my program and I need his help. It's super hard to find time to program with him."
I say no problem and go home like a defeated little butterfly.
In the cold light of day, though, I can't really count this as him canceling since I pretty much pressured him into it at the last minute. And frankly I'm lucky he didn't run away screaming. Right?
Mon Feb 3 -
He texts a "how's your day" in the afternoon. We have a short back and forth. Then at 10pm he texts replying to the last thing I said in our exchange. (He takes these reeeaally long gaps in texting, I think that's what freaks me out.) We have another little cute exchange.
Tues Feb 4 -
I sent him a note about the creationism debate in the afternoon. Small back-and-forth.
Then he initiated a chat in the evening. We were IMing, talking about the creationism debate, a couple other things. Topic turned to Neruda who I'm falling in love with right now. I sent him a link to his Nobel Prize Speech. Then he was silent for like an hour and I said I was going to sleep. Then he immediately was like "crap! Wait, sorry, I was just really into that speech, its so great. So sorry I got distracted. I really want to talk about it. So sorry, this week has been exhausting, my brain isn't functioning normally...."
I told him to get some rest and said goodnight.
Weds Feb 5 -
No contact
Thu Feb 6 -
One week since first date, no contact, no second date.
Fri Feb 7 - No contact
Sat Feb 8 - I figure he's written me off, so I've got nothing to lose. I text him one last, "howdy."
The Lineup
Voldemort
He who shall not be named
--Jan 10 Update--
In a moment of weakness on a Friday night, I texted him. A simple "Hey."
I was not expected a response. I was sort of hoping it would reinforce my anger towards him.
But he replied (after ignoring me for weeks). I was flabbergasted.
The "conversation" was awkward and generally terrible...
Me: hey
V: Hello
Me: Things better?
V: With?
Me: you. life. 2014.
Me: I've just missed ya.
V: I'm fabulous. I just hacked apart an Ikea dresser for an hour.
Me: sounds therapeutic
V: How are you?
Me: really good
--
And that was it. Here's the conversation I was hoping for...
V: I'm sorry about the way things went down.
Me: Me too.
The end.
I do not feel like a 30 year old woman.
PS. He still owes me $1.2k
--Jan 10 Update--
In a moment of weakness on a Friday night, I texted him. A simple "Hey."
I was not expected a response. I was sort of hoping it would reinforce my anger towards him.
But he replied (after ignoring me for weeks). I was flabbergasted.
The "conversation" was awkward and generally terrible...
Me: hey
V: Hello
Me: Things better?
V: With?
Me: you. life. 2014.
Me: I've just missed ya.
V: I'm fabulous. I just hacked apart an Ikea dresser for an hour.
Me: sounds therapeutic
V: How are you?
Me: really good
--
And that was it. Here's the conversation I was hoping for...
V: I'm sorry about the way things went down.
Me: Me too.
The end.
I do not feel like a 30 year old woman.
PS. He still owes me $1.2k
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